I Couldn't Find Waldo in Beijing's Closing Ceremonies

Fireworks. Wall dancers. Behemoth LCD screens. The Chinese version of the Death Star. Arguably more spectacle and theatrics than a production of Les Miserables. Yes, the Closing Ceremonies of the 29th Olympiad have come and gone, leaving the world with the warm glow of universalism and the fuzzy feeling of a global community. But what of the next four years? How will London prepare for such a daunting task?



Good question. You might want to ask them. But, if not - here's the plan in a London-sized nutshell. East London will be transformed - specifically, the Lower Lea Valley, a location which has "great untapped potential," according to the site. More than 200 buildings will be demolished to accommodate this task to make room for the Olympic Park, from an Aquatic Centre to Olympic Stadium, and the Velodrome. . And, after the Olympics have ended, the site will be metamorphosed to Europe's largest urban park.

The green may be good, but the gold is better, as the saying goes.

Maybe it doesn't. But it should.

Thought of the Day: I, too, was not ordained "cute enough" by the American government to publish this post. It has been type-synced so the optimal amount of cuteness has been reached.

Mad about Mad Men

Imagine you are sitting a smoky bar in Manhattan. It's 1960, and you are fabulous and drinking a martini, with a Lucky Strike cigarette hanging nonchalantly from your fist like some Humphrey Bogart. The terror of the Cold War has passed, the nightmare of Vietnam is nothing more than a vague whisper: you are rich and fabulous and work on Madison Avenue at Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency.

You are Donald Draper, Mad Man.

But things are more than they seem: Draper, the creative force behind successful ad campaigns, must deal with Peter Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser), the newlywed Account Exec who nips at his heals; his alcoholic boss Roger Sterling (John Slattery), and - of course - his own infidelity with his ex-model wife, Betty (January Jones). In this world of smoke and mirrors, people are naive to health risks (Betty's pregnant friend smokes heavily, Merlot in hand), easy to judge (the new divorcee who shamefully works at a local jewelry store), and slow to forgive (insert any number of unfaithful spouses).

Into this world comes wide-eyed Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss), fresh from secretarial school. She quickly learns to keep her mouth shut, to show and not tell, and to type 70 words a minute. This is no small town.


After watching the first season, it's no wonder this behemoth of a show snagged a staggering 16 Emmy nods. Each episode is a rich, 42-minute movie, complete with stunning cinematography, painstakingly accurate attire (down to the rather pointy underpinnings), and witty dialog. It's incredible what strides feminism has taken in the past 45 years. On Peggy's first day, Pete Campbell comments how she should show more leg. Housewives are meant to stay home and dutifully raise the children while the wily men live their fabulous Manhattan lives. And let's talk about Draper himself, brilliantly played by Jon Hamm. Never is it overdone, never too much. When he pitches, you believe he knows what he's selling, and he'd throw himself from the roof of Sterling-Cooper to prove it.

So, grab a Smirnoff, some stunning lipstick from a basket of kisses, and a Lucky Strike cigarette, and watch perhaps the best period drama to hit television. Ever.

Networks, Expounded

Stations have always (and I use this term lightly, since always implicates infinite existence) been giving themselves aesthetic face lifts. Things to make them pretty. Shiny, even. But what's in a network? What is the signature thing that makes someone say, "Oh, that's an ABC show, right?" Just what I was wondering. Let's investigate, shall we?


ABC
American Broadcasting Company.

Known Best For: Endearing dramadies, heart-warming home renovations, crazy islands outside of the space-time continuum, wipe-outs
Famous Faces: Meredith Grey's whiny self-indulgent mug ("Grey's Anatomy"), Ty Pennington ("Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," Sears commercials), Scared and/or nervous people from "LOST," Mickey Mouse.
Catchphrase: "Start Here."
Underrated Show: "Pushing Daisies." No matter what Entertainment Weekly pundits have to say about it.
Shiny Factor: Invented

NBC
National Broadcasting Company

Known Best For: Deadpan comedies, Laws and Orders, The Olympics, More Reality TV, Conan.
Famous Faces: Michael Scott (Steve Carell of "The Office"), Ann Curry, Liz Lemon/Tina Fey ("30 Rock").
Catchphrase: "Must See TV."
Underrated Show: "Chuck." It's cute and cuddly and nerdy and is available on a Friday night. What more do you want?
Shiny Factor: Flashy as a peacock.



CBS
Columbia Broadcasting System
Known Best For: Demeaning Reality Television, Moderately Good Sitcoms, A Lot of Crime Shows
Famous Faces: The sad little children exploited for "Kid Nation"
Most Underrated Show: "Jericho," and also: "Twin Peaks."
Catchphrase: Let's See Who Next to Exploit.