As Bob Dylan once noted, the times, they are a changing. We've got a new, tech savvy president who bequeaths iPods to royalty. There are pillow fights on Wall Street. And the once entertaining, freshly piloted network television series I fell in with love so many years ago are approaching middle age. With the wisdom comes creaky bones, weak plot lines, and plateaued characters. Here is my (non) expert advice on how to give face lifts (or, in Grey's Anatomy lexicon, face transplants) to these struggling shows.
Scrubs (ABC)
THE PROBLEM: For seven surreal seasons, I followed Scrubs religiously on NBC. When there was warning that its seventh season was the last, I accepted my fate stoically, without complaint. But after hearing ABC was picking up the quirky cast of Sacred Heart for another season, I had a JD-esque daydream of what this meant for me. Another year of Turk, Carla, and the Todd. A whole new season of ironic jokes and Dr. Cox's penchant for calling JD by girl's names. And yet, the joy isn't there. Zach Braff has been absent in two episodes already (perhaps foreshadowing an ill-advised 9th season without the front man) and the last episode ("My Full Moon") was just about Elliot realizing the American Dream - that when the right man came along, she would throw her talents as a doctor aside for a frilly apron and a family.
QUICK FIX: Though I am loathe to say it, the quickest fix here would be calling it quits at the end of the season. Scrubs has had a respectable run and survived the chop block once. Who knows if its' luck will last. Another idea? Have Turk have a run-in with diabetes that requires JD to wait on him hand and foot. The two will realize their undying love for each other, elope to Iowa, and live happily ever after dancing to "99 Luftballoons."
Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
THE PROBLEM: Avid "Bethertainment Weekly" readers will remember I once blogged about shows that were Jumping the Shark and Healing the Deer. Might you also remember that Grey's Anatomy made that list last season? While the show has proven more interesting and complex with new additions like Iraq veteran Dr. Owen, the show doesn't have the playful self-indulgence it once did in its first and second seasons, flawlessly balancing drama with dark humor, and a McPun along the way.
QUICK FIX: Shonda Rhymes needs to tap into the synergy of the early years of Grey's while finding new ways to develop the characters. Meredith's "dark and twisty" thing has been done, but what about her and Derek dealing with an unexpected pregnancy? Izzy will knit a whole Baby Gap worth of kiddy gear, Christina will get weirded out, and Boy George will fade into television obscurity. Another idea: playing off of the new batch of interns, having them mirror Seattle Grace's first and finest, but making their situations seem utterly ridiculous and trite. Or they could just keep up with the face transplants and robot pig surgeries.
The Office (NBC)
THE PROBLEM: Remember in middle school, when your mom packed you a bologna and mayo sandwich every day for a year? Good the first week, unfathomably dull the next. You were stuck in a lunch rut, and had no way of fixing it. The Office is no different. It's been pulling the Jam/Pim will they/won't they for too long. Dwight is not oddly endearing anymore as much as neighborhood pedophile with a beet fetish. The set-up's are far too obvious. Jim has been making a fool in front of the new boss, Charles Miner. Look who's on the chopping block. And Pam leaving Dunder-Mifflin to work for Michael? I smell financial ruin for the darling Halperts. And chronic boredom from the audience.
QUICK FIX: Have Pam and Jim get hitched, but have them run into an awkward situation whilst they're honeymooning on Dwight's beet farm. Might I suggest a classically biblical Leah/Rachel switcharoo, where Pam doesn't realize it's Dwight come to her marital bed, and not Jim. And what of the peripheral characters? I think we deserve a Creed-centric episode where we find out at least some of Mr. Bratton's dirty laundry.
Family Guy (FOX)
THE PROBLEM: I hate to belittle a show that is so admired among my friends and peers, but this problem has reached the size of a dwarf star. The show. Is. No. Longer. Funny. And I hate to break it to you, college sophomores, but much like Dane Cook, Family Guy loses much of its humor after you graduate college. If everyone could conjure up obscure pop-culture references from the 80's and 90's, would they have a successful show? It's possible. I'm not questioning Seth McFarland here, but in simplified form, all he is is a flashback magpie who gathers seemingly useless artifacts thrown on the side of the entertainment highway. Stewie already killed Lois, Peter has gone from fat to skinny, rich to poor, Meg lost her virginity to Jimmy Fallon. What else is there?
QUICK FIX: Why not take a leaf from South Park's almighty offensive book and make political statements that aim to both enlighten and offend? (Sidenote: "About Last Night..." was incredibly brilliant. I just needed to say that). The show was canceled once. That might have been the better alternative. Here's an idea: bring back Arrested Development, get rid of asinine shows that take movie parodies and Kool Aide commercials to absurd levels.
No comments:
Post a Comment