The Magic Bullet

The History Chanel recently aired "JFK: Three Shots that Changed America," a three-hour documentary on the assassination of America's 35th president.

How the times have changed, irrevocably, inconceivably. No doubt shows like "Mad Men" capture glimpses of the sixties, but these are glossy, orchestrated, and romanticized. Things that seemed bromide are now security risks - JFK mulling about in crowds, though nerve-racking for the SS, was practiced. Imagine Obama doing the same - those forty years have seen some of the most drastic changes of all.

On that day, Jackie O. was wearing "some knobby pink thing" as a CBS reporter observed. The people in Fort Worth were there to see her style, and to shake hands with the President. They wanted a smile, a "how are you?" from the president, and only that.

The Media and, by proxy, news and entertainment outlets, have proven fascinating litmus tests of history. How the news saw the Kennedy Assassination the day of it divulges from how it was seen a week later - and, of course, with forty some odd years of analysis and insight, how will Matthew Weiner and Co. color the assassination? How different a world it is, from November 22, 1963, to the upcoming November 22, 2009, where, when President Obama came to New York City with the First Lady to see a show in May, the closest the press could get was half a block away, carefully watched by the NYPD and rooftop snipers.

These are tumultuous times, times of metal detectors and bomb-sniffing dogs and tracers. Yet, with things as they are, it is all too easy to forget that the so-called Golden Years of America were still riddled with danger - presidents were still assassinated a century and a half ago; America has been, mostly, a dangerous country. There were few sanctions in the developing West, where vigilantes and rogues took the law into their own hands. And yet, the 1950's and, to an extent, the 1960's, were the halcyon days, to be looked upon longingly.

Those days were fugacious at best, a hyperbolic lie at worst.

What of the Bay of Pigs, the Cuban Missile Crisis? How easy it is to get caught up in the worries most germane to us - crumbling economies, swine flu, Lady Gaga - but how important it is to turn back the pages of history, to be reminded of the echoes of the past.

I'll Watch the Emmys, Even Though "30 Rock" and "Mad Men" Will Be the Only Things that Win

Ah, the Emmys. The awkward, red-headed step-child of the Oscars. Then again, television has been coming into its' own, with behemoths like Mad Men, 30 Rock, and nearly everything on HBO and Showtime nominated for a plethora of awards. Some say it's unfair that there are so many categories, or that Tina Fey has been nominated so much that she could build a spiral staircase of potential Emmys. Regardless, here are my predictions, for better or worse.

Best Comedy Series:
Should Win: 30 Rock
Will Win: 30 Rock

Referencing everything from B-list zombie slashers to Peter Shafer's Amadeus, I'm not the first to say it, nor will I be the last, but I want to go to there.

Best Drama Series:
Should Win: Mad Men
Will Win: Mad Men

Though its return was lugubrious, the payoff was well worth the wait. Season Two of this slick drama chronicles the complicated lives of the addies at Sterling-Cooper. Don disappears to California. Peggy discovers clothes that didn't belong to her grandmother. And we, the viewers, discover how much we love the unfolding intrigue. Can there please be a LOST/Mad Men hybrid, so we can all time travel back to the 1960's? (I'm looking at you, JJ.)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
Should Win: Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)
Will Win: Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

Jim Parsons, the slight, gangly Sheldon, defines "poindexter." With zero social skills and the uncomfortable burden of a genius IQ, he bumbles through life, stuttering physics formulas and committing faux-pas. Meanwhile, Alec Baldwin plays a slightly more egotistical version of himself.


Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
Should Win: Jon Hamm as Don Draper
Will Win: Jon Hamm as Don Draper

Watch this genius SNL clip. And tell me you don't believe every word uttered by the once Dick Whitman.



Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
Should Win: Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin (Weeds)
Will Win: Tina Fey as Liz Lemon (30 Rock)

Let's look at these characters academically:

Liz Lemon: Neurotic, over-committed brunette writer with fast food fetish, has to deal with incompetent co-workers, writers, and actors.

Nancy Botwin: Neurotic, over-committed brunette drug dealer with Diet Coke fetish, has to deal with incompetent co-workers, drug lords, and DEA agents.

Sadly, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences will go for the safe option. Not to say you're not brilliant, Tina, it's just...share the wealth, mmmkay?


Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Should Win: Elisabeth Moss as Peggy Olson, Mad Men
Will Win: Elisabeth Moss as Peggy Olson, Mad Men
Who would have thought that meek and dowdy secretary-cum-copywriter Peggy Olson would blossom into such a rich, complex stalwart of moxie and guts? Anyone doubting Moss' ability to exhibit this richness, watch season two's season finale, "Meditations in an Emergency." And then we'll talk. Marska Hargitay (Detective Olivia Benson of Law and Order: SVU) was, at one point, a contender, but already has a nod from the Academy, and has been so absent from the current season that it seems unlikely she'll get another statuette.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:
Should Win: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother), Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the Page, 30 Rock), or Tracy Morgan (Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock)
Will Win: Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the Page, 30 Rock)

While tempting to say all supporting actors are created equal (and only serve as foils for the lead characters), the truth of the matter is this year's batch of auxiliary funny men are as varied as Barney Stinson's collection of suits. Ultimately, McBrayer's earnest naivete wins out as accidentally hilarious. Sorry, Rainn, but Dwight just doesn't cut it any more. Fact.


Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:
Should Win: Kristin Chennoweth (Olive Snook, Pushing Daisies)
Will Win: Anyone's call

Chennoweth delights in the now defunct Pushing Daisies, as a jockey slash waitress Olive Snook, a pint-sized songbird and spy who helps the Scooby gang solve crimes. It doesn't hurt that this Broadway alum has some serious pipes, which she uses to great affect from time to time.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series:
Should Win: Michael Emerson (Benjamin Linus, LOST)
Will Win: John Slattery (Roger Sterling, Mad Men)


Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series:
Should Win: ? (To be fair, I have not seen enough of any other show to give an accurate, angry rant over talent and the Academy being biased. It happens.)
Will Win: Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy)

Cristina has had a tumultuous season - first, getting impaled by an icicle, then falling for Lieutenant Night Terror who tried choking her in her sleep. There are only so many people who can pull off obsessive-compulsive neurosis with such likable charm, and Sandra Oh is one of them.

So, it's time to watch the magic unfold. Updates to follow as to how wonderfully/poorly I did. Enjoy!

The Finale Countdowns

Bethertainment Weekly Presents:
Twittereviews: Season Finale Reviews in 140 words or less.

LOST
I wish I could time travel to the season six premiere. A+

GREY'S ANATOMY
Everyone's McDying or McMarried. McBoring. C+

SCRUBS
Titanic-like montage of JD leaving Sacred Heart. Awkwardly heartwarming. B

THE OFFICE
Michael Scott and Holly put on 'Dunder Mifflinaire.' Pam and Jim is havin' a bay-bee. That is all. B+

And, I am proud to announce I have - from a reliable source - the information that "Mad Men" has started production for a solidly brilliant season three. Let's just say I may or may not have run into a certain Art Director of Sterling-Cooper at certain Broadway revival show and may or may not have asked him questions about the marvellous "Mad Men."

If I'm Going to Die, I Want to Die in Manhattan

The storm's been percolating on this season's horizon: each character set up for the grand culmination. Peggy's secret lovechild with Pete; Don's erratic behavior; Betty's gradual liberation from the Stepford Wives; the Campbell's marital problems; Joan's unhappy engagement; Sterling Cooper's merger with Lowe. The Cuban Missile Crisis. The only question is ... what will explode?

This week's episode, "Meditations in an Emergency," is the title of a Frank O'Hara anthology of poetry - a moody, reflective collection that comments on dystopia. The episode certainly reflects upon that notion.

In last week's episode, Betty found that she was spotting. So she goes to see the doctor. Turns out, there is a third Draper bundle of joy on the way. The doctor is curious why Betty isn't delighted, even more so considering an abortion. "I find it hard to believe that a married woman of means is even considering that," he says. Don comes back from his sojourn to California, the prodigal husband. Betty has just finished riding (though the doctor has told her explicitly not to) "I want to be with you," he says. And who has ever resisted a sales pitch that Don Draper has made? Betty Draper, that's who. "Things haven't been that different without you," she says. Score one for the Home Front!

Meanwhile, the ever-ambitious Pete Campbell finds out he's got promoted to Accounts Director, as Duck has been promoted to the new president of Sterling Cooper. It is everything he has wanted. To be the new Don Draper. And, we see Duck's true colors. He has no wife, no life outside of Sterling Cooper; with this new promotion, he is eager to fell the mighty warrior of advertising.

Don's homecoming to Sterling Cooper is not a jubilant one. People no longer down gin like it is going out of fashion, no light-hearted jest, no laughter. People, hunched around the television. Tense radio broadcasts. Whispers of Castro. It is not the effervescent carnival of before.

"Mad Men"'s brilliance lies in the ability to simultaneously alienate and amalgamate - it's off-putting, for instance, that forty years lie between Don Draper and us - to paraphrase Dylan, the times, they have a-changed. But, there is a strange parallel between the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Economic Crisis of today. Though maybe not in the form of an empty Times Square or angry bickering at the local beauty parlor. Worry translates throughout the decades.

The nuts and bolts of the episode belong to the women: Peggy, Joan, Betty. Betty Draper. Betty Draper, Bonnie Parker. What's the difference there? Both are experiencing sexual liberation. In one of my favorite scenes all season, Betty goes to an upscale bar after dropping off the children with Don. A man on the other end of the bar buys her gimlet. "This means he'll come and talk to you," warns the bartender.

"We'll see about that," Betty says, taking off her coat and adjusting her new suit. The vintage McDreamy comes over to woo her, but Betty dismisses him like last year's fashions at Bloomingdale's. "Thank you so much for the drink, I'd just like to enjoy it, if you don't mind."

Back on the home front, Don and the children have ordered room service at his hotel. Sally and Bobby seem nonplussed by all of this...they're just happy they can watch "Leave it to Beaver" and eat burgers in bed.

Cut back to Betty: she asks the bartender to look over her parcels. We think she's just going to the ladies' room, though she lingers outside. McMystery comes back, obscured in shadow. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I'm waiting," she responds. He opens the door to the back room and looks at her expectantly. "I'm married," Betty says, more as a statement than an excuse not to go in. It's an interesting juxtaposition - Don at "home" with the kids, and Betty being the solicitous adulteress. It's a classic role reversal.

Then, it is time to meet with the new owners of Sterling Cooper. Tempers flare as Duck proposes a more surgical, sterile approach to advertising. "There's more than one way to run a company," Duck says, making a not-so-subtle jab at Don. To Duck, that means buying time on television. Lots and lots of time. To Duck, it's not about the client; it's about what sorts of profit the client can procure. To Duck, it's about what is owed to him. It's clear that his nerve is hanging on a thread, and he makes it known. Poor Duck; not only does he have an unfortunate name and no business prospects, but he's a lightweight.

"No, he never could hold his liquor," says one of the Brits.

The office clears out for the weekend, with some thinking it will be their last. Peggy and Pete are the only two left. So, Pete asks Peggy to stay for a drink, which, of course, leads to talking on the self-same sofa where they engaged in lusty, passionate copywriter passion. "I think you're perfect," Pete confesses, gazing into her eyes. "I wish I'd picked you, then."

You expect Peggy to swoon, you expect her to look at Pete and say that's all she's ever wanted, you expect her to say that there's still time. Peggy's look is hard to interpret. "I could have had you," she finally says. She confesses that she had his child and that she gave him away. Pete's less than dapper response:

"Are you serious?"

"One day you're there, and all of a sudden, there's less of you," Peggy explains. It wasn't in the cards for her to keep that child. She leaves Pete in the emotional equivalent of an atomic bomb being dropped. And you wonder, why can't the Academy Awards apply for television? Because that scene was the stuff of legends.

And Don, content again to be the supportive father and husband he once was, wrote a note to Betty, begging her to take him back ("I'll be alone forever"). So, Betty invites him back to their house in Connecticut. And, what a better way to end. The perfect, Norman Rockwell painting of a family in front of the television. Mother, father, sister, brother. It would be cliche only if you know the backstory; both husband and wife have been with other people, Betty wants an abortion. They're on the brink of oblivion. Their world is crumbling from the inside out.

What, then, is in store for next season? (That is to say, if there will be a new season - AMC has not ordered any more shows as of yet.) I see the repercussion of Joan's rape by her fiancee, daddy issues, mommy issues, the Merger, at a lot more smoking and drinking, to be vague. Suffice it to say that they'll keep us coming back for more.

Mad about Mad Men

Imagine you are sitting a smoky bar in Manhattan. It's 1960, and you are fabulous and drinking a martini, with a Lucky Strike cigarette hanging nonchalantly from your fist like some Humphrey Bogart. The terror of the Cold War has passed, the nightmare of Vietnam is nothing more than a vague whisper: you are rich and fabulous and work on Madison Avenue at Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency.

You are Donald Draper, Mad Man.

But things are more than they seem: Draper, the creative force behind successful ad campaigns, must deal with Peter Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser), the newlywed Account Exec who nips at his heals; his alcoholic boss Roger Sterling (John Slattery), and - of course - his own infidelity with his ex-model wife, Betty (January Jones). In this world of smoke and mirrors, people are naive to health risks (Betty's pregnant friend smokes heavily, Merlot in hand), easy to judge (the new divorcee who shamefully works at a local jewelry store), and slow to forgive (insert any number of unfaithful spouses).

Into this world comes wide-eyed Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss), fresh from secretarial school. She quickly learns to keep her mouth shut, to show and not tell, and to type 70 words a minute. This is no small town.


After watching the first season, it's no wonder this behemoth of a show snagged a staggering 16 Emmy nods. Each episode is a rich, 42-minute movie, complete with stunning cinematography, painstakingly accurate attire (down to the rather pointy underpinnings), and witty dialog. It's incredible what strides feminism has taken in the past 45 years. On Peggy's first day, Pete Campbell comments how she should show more leg. Housewives are meant to stay home and dutifully raise the children while the wily men live their fabulous Manhattan lives. And let's talk about Draper himself, brilliantly played by Jon Hamm. Never is it overdone, never too much. When he pitches, you believe he knows what he's selling, and he'd throw himself from the roof of Sterling-Cooper to prove it.

So, grab a Smirnoff, some stunning lipstick from a basket of kisses, and a Lucky Strike cigarette, and watch perhaps the best period drama to hit television. Ever.